Finding Rest

Saying good-bye to the relationships I had built over the past two years was one of the more difficult things I have had to do in my lifetime. Now that I am home, people ask me how my “trip” was. I must say I am not fond of that question because it makes me feel like living in Kenya for the past two years of my life, learning a new culture, new language, new people, new way of life completely, while forfeiting my comfort, family, friends, and presence at important life events for those people,  was equivalent to the sacrifices one makes for a short term mission trip. 

These past 2 years hold some of the most challenging, stripping, personally fruitful times in my life and to try to equate that to a “trip” instead of a period of my life was hard to deal with since I have been home. In order to help people understand more of why this past 2 years was so impactful and deserving of a better word than “trip,” I am going to write this blog post about what I faced while leaving Kenya.

In the Great Rift Valley

Saying good-bye to students from 3 different schools whom I had relationships with, some deeper and stronger than others but relationships nonetheless, was definitely the worst of it. It was just as hard if not harder, than saying good-bye to my loved ones last January for the simple reason that I knew I would see my family again one day. Some of these students I cannot say I will see again. It’s just the  truth. And that is a sad reality when you have spent the last two years building those friendships, making memories, and pouring into them. So, as Christine and I finished our last GLOW Club at Kamandura Girls High School, and our last bible study at Green Valley International, I took these photos so I can remember what these girls looked like and how they have influenced my life.

Green Valley girls at our last bible study

Njambi, one of the funny girls

Claris, always ready to give me a handshake and a joke 

Grace, the serious, grounded one of them all, born leader

Kamandura girls at our last GLOW Club

The hardest good-byes were, of course, the girls from Uhuru Academy because I had spent the most time with them and known them the longest. During our closing ceremony before the girls headed home for holiday vacation, I was given the privilege of speaking to them one last time to tell them how much I love them and they mean to me, while challenging them to reach new heights in integrity, kindness, generosity, and others-centeredness next year with the new students. This is one of the passages I shared with them that I feel captures in words, better than I could, how I feel about these wonderful young ladies:

“I am fully convinced my dear sisters, that you are full of goodness. You know these things so well you can teach each other all about them…. For by God’s grace, I am a special messenger from Christ Jesus to you Gentiles. I bring you the Good News so that I might present you as an acceptable offering to God, made holy by the Holy Spirit. So I have reason to be enthusiastic about all Christ Jesus has done through me…But everyone knows that you are obedient to the Lord. This makes me very happy. I want you to be wise in doing right and to stay innocent of any wrong. The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. May the grace of our Lord Jesus be with you.” [Romans 15-16, paraphrased]

Nicole and Lynne, two of my favorites who are great examples of leaders at Uhuru

Teresia, one of the girls I was closest with who could always make me laugh

One of the many selfies I have been gifted with involuntarily by these young ladies

On top of leaving these students, I also said good bye, for a short time, to my team mates who I have lived and worked beside for the past 2 years in this challenging environment. We are a family and have gone through really trying times together and it was sad knowing that we will never again be in these circumstances together. Sure, we will reunite, but it will never be like it was in Kenya. I am thankful though, to have built those friendships that will outlast any distance simply because of the depth with which the roots have grown during those hardships.

In addition, I had to say good bye to my adult Kenyan friends, whom I may not see again, and if I do, it will not be for a long time. These are my friends who helped me adjust to the culture there and teach me the language. I shared many laughs with these people over the cultural differences and learning new words to say to strangers in public. My Kenyan experience is largely defined by their friendships. I am eternally grateful for all they did for me, not just logistically, but emotionally. These friendships often restored my faith in Kenyan people when it was all but shattered because of a bad encounter, a corrupt police man, or selfish politician.

Francis, Lydiah, and Christine cooking for one of the many dinners we shared together

LastIy, I will miss the culture at times too. Do not get me wrong, I missed fast food chains, East Coast Mexican restaurants with lots of cheese, southern accents, etc. but I will miss being able to eat nothing with preservatives or anything processed, buying produce for dirt cheap prices from the local market, greeting people as you pass by because it’s the polite thing to do, and getting to speak another language. Sure, I have things I will not miss like constantly being treated like an outsider because of my skin color or nationality no matter how long I have lived there, being stared at constantly, how far we had to travel to have a social life, etc. but those experiences have grown me in ways I do not even see yet and I am thankful.

The market in Limuru

Kenya has a special place in my heart, not because I lived there for 2 years, but because of all that I experienced living in their culture, the friendships I built there both foreign and native, and how without even knowing, I have been changed for the better by the young ladies I had the privilege to know. It will be a difficult transition back in certain respects, but what helps is being asked about how my life is changing, how I have grown, how I expect to use what I learned in Kenya, and what I learned about God. Being asked these questions not only allows me to inform others about my experiences and beliefs, but it also helps me process during this transition.

Join me in continuing to pray for:

1)      My team members to have renewed strength that would allow them to keep serving and loving the people in these communities.

2)      Uhuru Academy would gain 40 new students in 2015

3)      These students would become leaders that show the love of Christ to their peers, communities, and families in all they do both now, and after they leave Uhuru.

4)      The social businesses would flourish and bring in more profit than we can even imagine so that they can keep expanding and employing more needy Kenyans.

One of the many beautiful views of the tea fields in Limuru

“Return, O my soul, to your rest; for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you.” –Psalm 116:7